Love, Friendship, Happiness

“I want someone who will love me for who I am, not someone who is trying to change me”

Love requires that every man accepts you just the way you are. It does not try to visibly change you; it doesn’t ask that you become less of yourself. It sees you for what and who you are, and chooses to accept you good and bad.

But love also requires that you don’t just be a taker, but that you also become a giver. When we love, we choose to put the happiness and wellbeing of others before ourselves. It’s for this sole reason that we do not ask that a person changes who they are if it makes them happy.

The beauty of love in it’s unadulterated form however, allows you see past the charade and look deep within a person. It lets you see that your actions actually do hurt people and that they put up a bold front just to see you happy. This is when you should decide to change yourself.

So yes, no man who claims to love you should try to change you. You who claim to love should work on becoming a better person for the sake of others.
Change is a personal decision, no one can coerce you into it, but love can gently guide you to it. It should be the motivating factor.

When i think of love, i think of a selfless emotion. The kind that aims to please, to put a smile on someone’s face. The kind that forgets about ego, pride, your shortcomings, your wants, and all that human nonsense. The kind that dares to defy nature and your more basal desires. That’s love.

2 thoughts on “Love, Friendship, Happiness

  1. Lizzieebunoluwa September 25, 2014 / 3:24 pm

    Hmm… “it does not try to visibly change you” but its allowed to subtly do that right?
    Interestingly today, I thought to myself, is it really worth it changing because you love someone and want to be the best for them? Should that be a motivation for change? Don’t you think it sort of encourages hypocrisy and shallowness of virtue or emotion?


    • uju September 25, 2014 / 4:27 pm

      Well, yes it is worth. I believe that is what is meant by sacrifice from both parties. Love doesn’t just give you the giddy feeling, it makes you become visible to you–your flaws and shortcomings…everything, so that can finally become a better version of yourself.

      But still I get your point. When you decide to become better for someone, you most likely become worse when they leave you, right? But love is different. No one is coercing you here, it is a personal choice.


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