Have I Been Living A Lie?

This might sound weird considering the obvious, but I just discovered I’m a girl. Not just any girl, a girly- girl and that’s shocking.

It all began the day I noticed my brother’s toothbrush looked like it had been crushed by a truck, and offered him a spare. In disgust he said, “eww how do you expect me to use a pink toothbrush?”
In reality I hadn’t even been aware my toothbrush was pink. Personally if I had my way, I wouldn’t wear a pink dress for any reason in the world. I detest that color.

Then I began taking inventory of my stuff. Turns out all personal effect (ranging from toothbrushes to lingeries) were in  supposed hateful colors–pink, red, purple, sky blue etc. While everything visible to the world were earth tones–black, grey, navy blue, brown.
Subconcious personal effects.jpg

I tell everyone my favourite colours are black and navy blue. Looks like it might be purple after all.
Hair band.jpg

Purchased this hair band last year because the colours were eye catching. It’s never been used though.

Once I came across a quote that said a person’s true self is that which they hide from the world. I disputed that on the grounds that each man had a choice to be whomever they wanted. I still take that stance, but in the wake of this, I’m willing to accept the writer might be on to something.

More recently I came upon these:
*”The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”C.G. Jung
*”The most common form of despair is not being who you are.”Søren Kierkegaard
*“You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.”― Thomas Merton

Perhaps the universe is saying something here?

I know this new revelation might not seem very significant, but it makes me curious.
~What is the depth of a person?
~What aspects of ourselves have been buried under layers of non-conformity, uniformity and fear?
~What are the chances we’ve been living a lie?
~How much of us has been right there with us in our subconscious, while our conscious being puts on a charade for the world?
~What’s left to be uncovered?

I’m a girly-girl with a love for purple and pink and pretty things. When I see a critter, my first instinct is to shriek and hop on a higher surface. But I wonder how much of the earth colour girl is me, despite being armed with the understanding that we are a whole person composed of diverse and sometimes seemingly contradicting components.

Have you been able to uncover anything about yourself of late?

For Further reading you should check out Eric’s blog

28 thoughts on “Have I Been Living A Lie?

  1. terencetransparent October 29, 2014 / 11:50 pm

    So I’m a little late to the party. 🙂 Over the past year or two, I’ve been realizing about myself that I am a non-conformist, and that the quote about our true selves being that which is hidden has been quite true of my life for a long time. I just wrote a blog about a similar subject just the other day. Feel free to take a read if you have a few extra minutes! 🙂


    • uju October 30, 2014 / 1:00 pm

      Better late than sorry, eh? Our journey to self-discovery is a never ending process. I hope you’ve been handling your newest discoveries quite well.

      I’ll be sure to check it out. Thanks for coming to this party 🙂


  2. Emeka October 21, 2014 / 2:33 pm

    I think as we grow, our minds unconsciously become wired that way. Females become more attracted to the so called ”girly stuff”..I remember getting a lens case that had some sorta pink atlas patterned across it and a female friend thought it was girly the moment she saw it.


    • uju October 21, 2014 / 3:47 pm

      So basically we’re under the influence of societal mental programming. Nice. This will be a good time to start second-guessing our choices, I believe?


  3. mrjasonfox October 18, 2014 / 4:40 pm

    I’d love to read it. Feel free to message me with the address if you want.


  4. mrjasonfox October 9, 2014 / 8:36 pm

    “Once I came across a quote that said a person’s true self is that which they hide from the world.”

    My personal blog is pretty much all about this process of uncovering who I really am. Who I’ve hidden from the world in my secret life. This is what I am exploring now. It’s not easy I’ll tell you that.


    • uju October 10, 2014 / 4:54 am

      The journey of self-discovery has never been an easy one, but it’ll be worthwhile. I started a second (anonymous) blog early September because I wanted to judge just how much of me isn’t out here.
      I’ve had startling revelations so far.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. ericjbaker October 9, 2014 / 7:09 pm

    But how many of our style choices reflect out inner taste and how much our desire to conform? Your brother won’t use a pink toothbrush and some of your male commenters sound repelled by pink and purple things. I think that has more to do with guarding how others perceive their masculinity than anything else. Pink as a feminine color is a 100% mental construct. Pink is merely a color on the color spectrum. It is neutral until humans apply artificial meaning to it, as we have. 150 years ago, pink represented male virility and blue represented softness and femininity.


    • uju October 10, 2014 / 5:03 am

      “But how many of our style choices reflect out inner taste and how much our desire to conform?”

      Not so much I’ll say. Given that we’d likely pursue a different lifestyle if we didn’t feel weighed by conformity (and perhaps non-conformity).
      Then there’s the gender stereotypes. I read a post you made concerning that a while back (could you provide the link pls?) and must confess I failed that test 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Holistic Wayfarer October 16, 2014 / 4:19 pm

      “Pink as a feminine color is a 100% mental construct.” Niiice, Eric. But it’s taken such strong root in our consciousness. Color is a world all its own, as color therapists understand. I’m not Chinese but from my scant knowledge of Eastern Medicine I know we are each drawn to certain colors based on our constitution (make-up of body, mind, spirit) and though “pink is merely a color on the spectrum”, every color has a property or effect. Green, for instance, cleanses (which is why people are encouraged to juice green veg in liver detox programs), and looking at green helps heal poor vision. Black is supposed to be the color of water. I can’t elaborate in my weak knowledge of this ancient system of healing but it is really fascinating.

      Your post caught my eye, U, bc I grew up hAting pink (esp in my rejection of all things feminine). And would find I’d get the most flattering comments the rare times I wore it. UGH. lol

      Well written, Uju. Rich post with depth.


      Liked by 1 person

      • ericjbaker October 17, 2014 / 1:30 am

        Interesting stuff. East Asian philosophy (for lack of a more all-encompassing term) is so different from the western perspective. The art, the architecture, the spirituality… the ways humans express themselves… so unlike the western view.


      • uju October 20, 2014 / 11:52 am

        I also read something along that line years ago, and more recently some colour psychology.
        I am led to believe that despite our color choices being mental constructs, perhaps our choices can also be narrowed down to constitution like you mentioned and the psychological effects these colours have on us.

        I get same compliments when I wear yellow (I hate yellow).

        Thank you, Diana. It’s always a pleasure having you around.


        • Holistic Wayfarer October 20, 2014 / 2:53 pm

          ” our choices can also be narrowed down to constitution like you mentioned and the psychological effects these colours have on us.”

          YES. Girl, you are right on. We are also attracted to certain colors at different seasons in our life.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. livelytwist October 9, 2014 / 1:55 pm

    On some level, I’m a rebel at heart and don’t like to conform. But, my, I love being a woman! For me it’s not so much about the externals though. I mean, I like black because it’s slimming, orange hues and some bright colours because I can pull them off. I like my feminine intuition, and my nurturing instinct. My fierce ambition hidden by my demure exterior, and the way that I complement a man. And as for living a lie, the older I get, the more accepting I am of who I am discovering myself to be.

    Nice post, Uju. Yesterday, on Holistic Wayfarer’s blog, we talked some about this. I’m looking forward to writing something along these lines as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • uju October 9, 2014 / 3:19 pm

      I don’t like conformity either, but it suddenly feels like being in a constant battle with oneself.
      I wear dark colours because of their practicality, and they don’t attention to me. But if i were to judge by my subconscious actions, i love bright colours more.

      I read somewhere that “rationality squeezes out much that is rich and juicy and fascinating.” And even though the writer made this statement in reference to arts, I think it could work here too.

      When i’m not being too conscious of my actions, i become a different person. I bet there are others who would feel that way too if they paused a minute.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Eryk October 9, 2014 / 1:39 pm

    I’m a boy, I love blue
    And my sister is a girl
    I’m finally seeing that


    • uju October 9, 2014 / 3:13 pm

      Hah! She’s a girl who likes purple.


  8. obasi chidi October 9, 2014 / 1:14 pm

    Girls like flashing things,pink,purple and orange,it has gone to a point i observe my sister shoes,i shout wow!!! thank God am a male.


    • uju October 9, 2014 / 3:13 pm

      Lol. I’m sure there are a number of male perks women despise too 🙂


  9. N℮üґ☼N☮☂℮ṧ October 9, 2014 / 11:41 am

    Culture certainly plays a huge role in your likes and dislikes, personality, and color identifying ‘gender’. The minute a baby is born, they are wrapped in a pink or blue blanket depending on the sex. Go to a toy store and look at the isles selling girls and boys toys. In the girls isles, there will be an explosion of pinks and purples.

    I think it is quite challenging to be yourself — an individual who stands out. There’s a lot working against us, even in our brain. For example — cerebral automatism, which is related to the learning process, gives people the propensity to line up to majority opinion. Studies show that at least 75% of people will go with the opinion of others rather than stick with their own, even when it’s backed up by evidence.

    I was taken aback by that deodorant shape — looks like a vibrator. No doubt that was intended — neuromarketing at its finest. lol


    • uju October 9, 2014 / 3:12 pm

      Oh byes, I thought about the cultural implications of being a girl, and all the gender stereotypes prevalent.
      When I spoke of non-conformity, I was thinking, what if we do like these things that cultural naturally pushes on us? And in a rebellious bid, shove those things to the background of our lives?

      @The deodorant. I thought it made for a better grip 😀


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