Has anyone ever died from a broken heart?
I saw a movie a long time ago where a lady died from a broken heart. I mean her heart literally broke in two. I think of it and it’s funny.
Lately I’ve been thinking about decisions – the big ones. Like where to live, who to marry, what career to focus on for the next ten to twenty years. And somehow in all these thinking, I may have made mistakes, possibly some I am yet unaware of.
My natural instincts is often to wait and be absolutely sure before moving. But I’m always learning that inertia is the bane of progress. So, I move. Then suffer anxiety pangs from moving too soon. And then suffer further panic attacks from thinking I moved too quickly.
It’s a strange cycle.
What I do remind myself everyday is this: I am in a constant state of becoming and God loves me too much to let me wander unguided.
Today, I’m undergoing a learning process of unlearning. Unlearning the past and how they’ve shaped my thinking and attitude. Relearning what it means to be a child of God, covered in the shadow of His wings and finding rest in knowledge far beyond me. And I’m learning to be quiet. Quiet isn’t the natural state of my anxious mind.
I’m more aware than I have been in a long time. I’m in a state of self-reflection, getting to meet myself again. It’s unsure where all of this is going, but I am believing it’s already good.
I sincerely hope, hope against all odds, that I will fall in love again with the woman in mirror when it’s over.